Harboring a creative soul

This act–the writing–and its product–the raw, the whiny, the deeply personal–are usually reserved for the pages of my private journal. Yet I have been recently inspired by several creative beings, and one in particular, to let these thoughtforms see the light, nevermind their flaws. These creations, with their gnarled appearances and crooked ways, are beautiful in their raw honesty.

For better or worse, I cast them out into the world.

In my middle age I find a great deal of confusion resting on my mind and after a long period of couching my creative urges for other pursuits I have come to understand the importance of creative acts in my life. I have been writing in journals and diaries since I was a pre-teen and making art for at least as long. Writing and art-making open a conduit to my psyche, that finicky creature that glares and shouts at me from the haze of dreams only to recede and remain frustratingly unreachable in my waking hours. In my life I am barrelling forward, rushing from one idea to the next, seeking solace in the next creative recovery program, taking on the work and projects of others as my own, and trying things on to see if they fit. I tell myself these are needful acts, that I am gathering ways to myself, ways that will help me along on my quest for authenticity…

But I have a soul-hunger, and the deepening sense that I am on the verge of discovering something in myself, some truth or tool or revelation that will nourish my soul. I long to discover my own way of knowing Soul’s deepest desires.

If only I could be still. If only I could get down to the hard work, to committing to my own projects, to expressing my own ways. I don’t know why I am compelled to share these thoughts, or my creations. I suppose it could just be that I am trying on another way, taking on another project in hopes of satisfying the soul-hunger.

So, then, this project’s purpose is two-fold. First, I am writing and art-making in order to help peel away the layers shrouding the truth at my core. And second, I am sharing my works to connect with like-minded souls, and to engage in an open dialog about life as a creative being.

Else, why create at all?

 

Existentially yours,

Tam